Things to think

A MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up

Klipfiti – Graffitis: Humor and Irony

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Thought

How To kill Your Mother In law 

A long time ago in China , a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn’t get along with her mother-in-law at all.

Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law’s habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting.

But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li’s poor husband! d great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-! law’s bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it! Li-Li went to see her father’s good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs.

She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Mr. Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, “Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you.”

Li-Li said, “Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do.”Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, “You can’t use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving.

Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspect you, when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. “Don’t argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen.” Li-Li was so happy.

She thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.

Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr. Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper!r, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn’t had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law’s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.

Li-Li’s husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again She said, “Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She’s changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her.”

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. “Li-Li, there’s nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her.”

HAVE YOU REALIZED that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying: “The person who loves others will also be loved in return.” God might be trying to work in another person’s life through you. Send this to your friends and spread the POWER OF LOVE.

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Health

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Dear Mommy and Daddy,

I write this letter to you in hopes that you will consider your approach to parenting me before I arrive. I am a joyous child. I thrive on love and respect, order and consistency. When I arrive, I will seem very small to you. Even though I don’t look like an adult, please understand that I am a human being.

Even though I will not speak words to you, I will know you with my heart. I will feel all your feelings, absorb your thoughts. I will come to know you more than you may know yourself. Do not be misled by my silence. I am open, growing and learning more rapidly than you can imagine.

I will make imprints of all that I see, so please give me beauty to rest my eyes upon. I will record all that I hear, so please give me sweet music and language that tells me how much I am loved. Give me silence to rest my ears. I will absorb all that I feel, so please wrap our life in love.

I am waiting patiently to be with you. I am so happy to have the opportunity to be alive. Maybe when you see me you will remember how precious life is too!

Your joyous child

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YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE

You are not your car.
You are not your job.
You are not your bank account.
These things are useful, and they help
you to make your way through the world,
but they do not define you.

You are not your problems.
You are not your failures.
You are not your appointments.
These things challenge you and can
ultimately help you to grow, but
they do not have to limit you.

You are the child who danced in
the sunshine, the young person who
dreamed of changing the world. You
are the admirer of all the beauty around
you, a spirit who cannot be tied down.
You are the best that you can imagine,
a bundle of possibilities yearning to be
fulfilled.

The shallow, superficial things will
define or limit you only to the
extent that you let them. Pay attention
to them, but don’t give your life to
them.

You are so much more.

Unknown

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Love Is Stronger . . .

Having a goal based on love is the greatest life insurance in the world.

If you had asked my dad why he got up in the morning, you would have found his answer disarmingly simple: “To make my wife happy.”

Mom and Dad met when they were nine. Every day before school, they met on a park bench with the homework. Mom corrected Dad’s English and he did the same with her math. Upon graduation, their teachers said that the two of them were the best “student” in the school. Note the singular!

They took their time building their relationship, even though Dad always knew she was the girl for him. Their first kiss occurred when they were 17, and their romance continued to grow into their 80s.

Just how much power their relationship created was brought to light in 1964. The doctor told Dad he had cancer and estimated that he had six months to one year left at the most.

“Sorry to disagree with you, Doc,” my father said. “But I’ll tell you how long I have. One day longer than my wife. I love her too much to leave the planet without her.”

And so it was, to the amazement of everyone who didn’t really know this love-matched pair, that Mom passed away at the age of 85 and Dad followed one year later when he was 86. Near the end, he told my brothers and me that those 17 years were the best six months he ever spent.

To the wonderful doctors and nurses at the Department of Veterans’ Affairs Medical Center at Long Beach, he was a walking miracle.
They kept a loving watch on him and just couldn’t understand how a body so riddled with cancer could continue to function so well.

My dad’s explanation was simple. He informed them that he had been a medic in World War I and saw amputated arms and legs, and he had noticed that none of them could think. So he decided he would tell his body how to behave. Once, as he stood up and it was evident he felt a stabbing pain, he looked down at his chest and shouted, “Shut up! We’re having a party here.”

Two days before he left us he said, “Boys, I’ll be with your mother very soon and someday, some place we’ll all be together again. But take your time about joining us; your mother and I have a lot of catching up to do.”

It is said that love is stronger than prison walls. Dad proved it was a heck of a lot stronger than tiny cancer cells.

Bob, George and I are still here, armed with Dad’s final gift.

A goal, a love and a dream give you total control over your body and your life.

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I feel like I’m related to a celebrity because he competed in the 1908 Olympics in four different sports, won medals and set a world record that has never been broken in the 26-foot rope climb (they discontinued the event many years later, so his record is safe). I brag because even though he didn’t finish high school because he had to work to support his family, he nevertheless received honorary degrees from several universities for his scholarship.

His specialties were Abraham Lincoln and the Civil War, and he was often asked to lecture about his favorite subjects. We heard he was very well-received. He sent us his clippings; we got pictures of him at a Civil War round-table panel with Adlai Sevenson, the governor, and another newspaper clipping with two young men whom he had saved one winter from drowning in Lake Michigan.

Uncle Bill was just different, and the differences seemed greater to me because of the huge disparity in our ages. He was actually my great-uncle and when he came from Chicago to visit us once a year, I knew I would be prodded to exercise and to talk about my studies. He loved nothing better than teaching and inspiring others, but he had never had children and didn’t really know how to talk to kids about what really mattered, like games and dances. I think he came West for mother’s delicious home cooking, especially pot roast and mashed potatoes.

When I was in high school in San Francisco, he wanted to speak before the student body on Lincoln’s birthday. I was mortified, because with his long silver hair and rumpled dark suit Uncle Bill didn’t look like any teacher I knew. I was afraid I would be embarrassed, and I embarrassed easily in those days. But the principal wanted him to speak, and so he came.

When the dreaded morning came, I cringed in the auditorium seat.

Uncle Bill was wonderful! There was just no other word for him. His flow of language, total knowledge of his subjects, love of history and passion for the greatness of Lincoln encouraged us to study and learn more about our country. He received a standing ovation.

I basked in being his relative.

Mother, who had to work, couldn’t attend the lecture at school, but that night she made Uncle Bill’s favorite pot roast and mashed potatoes with gravy and apple pie for dessert. He was a simple man, with simple tastes. He worked and lectured in Chicago until his late 70s, but the icy winters took their toll, so he moved to Santa Barbara, California, where he could swim outdoors all year. He became chaplain of the local veteran’s group. Although he had served his country in the medical corps during both World Wars, he was a man of peace.

A few years later, during the Vietnam War, a young man walked up to him and spat in his face because he was wearing his old lieutenant colonel’s uniform. Shocked, my uncle said, “Young man in my 84 years no one has ever questioned by integrity or physically attacked me.” He decked the man with a right to the jaw and marched on to the chapel. A few bystanders saw the episode and reported it to the Santa Barbara newspaper. Uncle Bill was praised and famous again.

At 85 he swam 100 laps at the local pool. It took him a long time, he said, but then, what was time for? I wondered if he thought about the Civil War as he swam, to keep from getting bored.

In his late 80s, he and another elderly man were unwisely carrying a refrigerator down a flight of stairs when the other man fell, and the load tumbled Uncle Bill to the ground and broke his hip. He was hospitalized for a long time, and his mind faded as the hip only partially healed. After the fall he was never really the same. He began to live entirely in his past, and was observed catching baseball games and giving signals to his invisible pitcher from the wheelchair to which he was confined.I visited him often, although he no longer recognized me. When I identified myself as a relative he was gallant, and would tell me he had just taken his mother (my great- grandmother) for a drive around the lake. She had been dead for more than 40 years.

I dreaded his 90th birthday at the convalescence hospital. He seemed utterly senile; his once muscular body sagged and several teeth were missing.

All the nurses, and the patients who could remember the words, sang “Happy Birthday.” Uncle Bill smiled and tried to struggle to his feet. Two orderlies held him up as he straightened his old body as best he could and, staying nearly vertical, began reciting the Gettysburg address.

The room fell silent. All eyes were on him, even those that were half-blind with cataracts. Each word was a ringing declaration of faith, of hope, of pain for those fallen in the Civil War. His voice had power; his memory was precise. I had never felt the words so emotionally and I began to cry. I noticed others crying, too.

When Uncle Bill finished, he received a long stirring ovation. When the applause ended, he collapsed back into his wheelchair.

Someone asked him what he wanted for his birthday present after such an inspiring speech. “Pot roast and mashed potatoes with gravy!” he said. “I’m hungry right now!”

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